In which our heroine is proposition in the most curious of ways

This was a while back, but I didn't realize I hadn't blogged it. Here we go:

One of Asimovian and my friends was in town and wanted to go to a club. There is a Friday-night-only club that several friends like to go to, and it was decided that this was the club we would be patronizing, even though we'd never been. This club is... I guess you might consider it a saucy kind of club. Free spankings on stage and all that. However, being freaky is only encouraged, not required, so we fit in just fine. I spent a lot of the evening hanging out with Space Kitty.

Now, I have to take a second to explain a couple of things here. First off, our heroine is not particularly a looker. I mean, everyone who gets to know me totally wants me, of course, but people aren't stopping me on the street to ask my phone number, if you know what I mean. Space Kitty, on the other hand, is adorable as hell and was dressed particularly saucily. And was very drunk. Very, very drunk.

So back to the dance floor. Several of us were shakin' our respective thangs. This creepy guy had been following Space Kitty around (cute + drunk = creepy guy magnet) and he was just STANDING on the dance floor STARING at Space Kitty, looking her up and down, repeatedly. So, I maneuvered myself between Creepy Guy and Space Kitty and turned my back to the guy. So, a few moments later, little creepy guy came up behind me, put his hands on my shoulders (yick), leaned into my ear (double-yick), and said,

Creepy Guy: Hey, wanna come back to my place? I have bagels and salmon.
Me: WHA?
CG: You wanna come over? I have bagels and salmon.
Me: Uh, no. I'm married.
CG: Wha?
Me: Married. ::points at her wedding ring, then points at her visibly upset husband::
CG: Huh?
Me: ::points at wedding ring, then her husband, then waves bye-bye::

I mean, I do look like a gal who enjoys herself some tasty breakfast snacks, but first off, does he not even know what it's called lox? Secondly, EW! Thirdly, don't piss off the black man who has 6 inches and 100 pounds on your scrawny ass.

Truth be told, it was more pathetic than anything and hey, I got a funny story out of it. The most amusing bit is that we're going back to the same club on Friday. I guess I'll bring my appetite in case he offers again. 'Cause who am I to turn down bagels and salmon?